After tomorrow, I am 25% finished with my career at Ohio Wesleyan. Strange to think that it was only three and a half months ago that I first set foot on this campus as a student ready to learn and impact my community. And now...now, I can hardly wait for tomorrow.
The semester has been overwhelmingly successful; I've maintained decent grades in all of my classes, figured out early that I would never survive Calculus, and made some new friends. Are these people with whom I would trust my life? In a serious situation perhaps... Are they going to be lifelong friends? Only time will tell.
I've been experiencing a return to my past as well, in various manners. For example, once again I was introduced to someone who I dated for only a short time through darling Justin. Justin, who once told me he wanted to date me himself and who I believe in fact would make a play for me if ever he thought he had the chance. I could be wrong, for I know he understands as well as I that we would never be compatible. And, not having learned the lesson from the last time Justin introduced me to someone, I took a plunge in an effort to feel validated and worthwhile - I know, something one should never do, but I did it anyway.
It was a larger mistake than I realised at the time. A week later I had already realized my mistake, thanks in part to a reconciliation between Chris and me; when I told him we were through he sat there and cried.
Brief aside: I have no problem with men's tears; in fact I believe that a man who can cry without shame in front of other people - when the situation warrants it - is a greater man than the one who tries to hide his feelings and always appear to be macho. The problem, then, was the situation. You do not cry as if you've lost the love of your life when a person you've been dating for one week tells you it isn't working - no matter the reason. If there is anything I have learned in my 20 years, no matter how long it took me to learn it, it is that you cannot expect forever from someone you barely know.
And he still has my copy of Wicked...
At any rate, Chris and I are doing quite well. With him I believe I could spend forever. Maybe, maybe not, but I'm certainly hoping for the former. We'll see.
And tomorrow is the holiday concert at my high school. I debated as to whether or not I should go, but I feel as if it is the right decision. I need to see some people who have been out of my sphere for far too long. And what will I find? Will I find that we are all irreversibly changed? Undoubtedly. Will I find that some things have remained the same? I can only hope. Either way, it should be an interesting night.
Enough of an update on my sick-sad life. It will continue, regardless of how diligent I am in recording it. So it goes.