Happy New Year...

I know it's an odd title...bear with me.

I'm giving up my vices... (It's from RENT.)

I've done a lot of thinking about different things over the past week or so. Really, more since Friday, but who's counting? Certain events have seared themselves in my mind and brought back memories of the person I used to be, before my epiphany, before I decided that it was really time to grow up.

Now, I look at people who exhibit the behaviors I used to embrace so tightly, and I shake my head at their immaturity. Was that really me only a year ago? It has been a year...wow. The difference between 19 and 20 is really like going through the transition from 12 to 13 all over again. And it will continue, the learning and the growing...

The point is, I'm doing a personal inventory. I've grown so much, and I like the change I am seeing within myself, but more needs to be done. I need to be more attentive to my needs, not so much my wants. I need to be healthy, inside and out. I need to accept those things about myself that are beautiful and positive, and reject the things I do that will only bring me pain.

It's an ongoing process...more than a year in the making, and I am only now coming to terms with myself. With time, I will look at the whole picture and find no problem with what I see.

It's so close...but it'll take a lot to get there.

Zei gezunt.