synapses and inhibitors

I love three hour phone conversations about things that really matter. Like, the state of the world. What's going to happen. The fall of the United States - which, unfortunately, is going to happen - just pray that it isn't in your lifetime or mine.

I especially love those little "I love you"s interspersed between discussions of foreign policy and the upcoming LEIMUN conference. Which, by the way, I could not be more excited about.

This week really has been the result of the best decision I've made in a long time. And it doesn't feel like it, which means that karma is returning to an even keel. I no longer feel like things are too good to be true...because for a New York minute, they really were. I was caught up in supposing, in misconceptions and preconceived notions about someone upon whom I had never laid eyes. Can the heart truly love what the eyes have yet to see unless there's some deeper connection like that between mother and child?

I'm not so sure anymore.

I believe in a connection. People can know upon first meeting that they are destined to interact with one another on some level. But that connection can't be forced, it can only be known; if you try to force something that wasn't really there to begin with you actually begin to place labels on things that should be allowed to develop in a natural and uninhibited manner. And that always leads to trouble.

Which is why love at first sight doesn't really exist. In the case of a child you can love before you've seen, because as rules go this is the exception. We're wired that way. But between a man and a woman, a man and a man or a woman and a woman, the connection is the persistent factor upon first meeting. It's necessary to continue contact to determine whether the connection is destined to become something more, although even when a connection is established it can often be defined in the heart with minimal effort - as long as you're paying attention.

Moral of the story: don't start dating someone you've only just met. Love takes time. Things circle around. And if everyone but you can see that your heart is on your sleeve...well, perhaps it's time to do something about that.

I can't wait to see Chris.